Emotional wounds come from many different sources, but they all produce a very similar profound sense of self-negativity.

The feeling of “no matter what I do, I am never good enough” grows and takes over your actions so that you can get addicted to DOING NOTHING about it.

That “I’m not good enough” feeling is delivered to you on a silver platter with 4 typical distinct flavors:

1) Body

This is the worst feeling, my body is not thin enough, or strong enough, or tall enough, it is not pretty enough, so we create a role model in our head, or we try to emulate who we want to look like.

2) Competence

This comes from some skill we feel we lack, some sort of inability, like not be able to find a better job or make more money.

We always focus on what we don’t have rather than on the things we do have.

Others might feel “jealous” about.

Being perfect is a goal being good at something looks like unachievable.

3) Identity

Is the feeling that somehow I’m the wrong kind of person. It could be my gender,

my race, my sexuality or even my personality. We find a role model and give ourselves reasons to believe that, that role model is who we would like to be.

4) Relationship

The conditioning to be loved, the feeling that “I will be loved if I am…….”. This or that “……” It could be based on a career success (competence) your body appearance (body), your willingness to “change who I am” (identity) or something else. You feel you will only get LOVE; if you meet certain conditions.

Why you have such a wound?

First, let me tell you that if this is happening it’s not through any fault of your own. It is most likely the result of an inner wound that was suffered in your earlier life and influenced by external factors.

This is typically a wound inherited from one’s parents, and it is transmitted unwittingly and without malice.

The problem is that once the seeds of these beliefs are planted and not

corrected, they can cause feelings of low self-esteem, low morale, low self-worth, anxiety, anger, depression and in extreme cases self –harm as a cry for help throughout one’s life.

How to heal it

The actual meaning of recovery is that you must recover this exiled part of you and become whole and healed by not fighting the negative inner voice, do not numb it with alcohol, drugs, food or gambling. You will not improve it by trying to be perfect, because there’s no such thing as perfection.

The true “recovery” starts with rescuing that powerful inner voice which is an integral part of you, a part of your deeper self, which you cut off from yourself, and it is wounded and in pain.

It’s accepting who you are; becoming the person, you are capable of being and accepting those who want to be on this journey with you.

No conditions, just be yourself.

By doing this, you leave behind the negativity and the I’m not good enough feelings. These will be replaced with increased self-esteem and self-confidence.

Where success is no longer a possibility but an inevitability.

Author: Nuno Leitao

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